Introduction
It has taken me 35 years to write this book. That is the power that shame can have over a person. Regardless of the origins of shame, in many ways, it can keep you locked in a box that you fear leaving. We can see that shame and its effects daily in the news. Maybe we don’t give it much thought as it is not you or I who is feeling the shame in those instances, but the fact remains, it’s out there. For example, take a close look at all the sexual abuse that has been recently reported in the news. We see big Hollywood names, politicians, clergy and even faith healers accused of sexual abuse that has spanned years and created shame in the minds of their victims. Many of those stories have something in common. It only took one person to come forward and no longer fear the shame of telling others about what had happened to them. Then, something unique happens – dozens and dozens of other victims suddenly appear out of nowhere telling similar stories, many of which date back decades. Why did they wait so long? What was it they feared? Very often, the answer is simply shame. Shame can have a powerful effect on the mind. Should that shame be revealed, it becomes a real threat on a subconscious level. I believe this threat is genetically wired into us. We fear that shame could cause our tribe to shun us, which would threaten our very survival. In response, we go into automatic mode, working hard to keep it hidden at all costs.
If we could just get ourselves to reveal our shame when we feel it, the burden of fear would disappear. There are many men out there …………….
Below a sampling of comments over the years
of those who signed up for a hair transplant
or hair tattoo procedure
- I have been grappling with the idea of suicide since my procedure.
- This procedure has been the worst mistake of my entire life. If I could only go back to my old hair.
- I would describe myself as looking like a freak due to having a hair transplant
- I walked into the meeting with my newly tattooed head and the response was what the f**k did you do to your head?
- My hair transplant destroyed the hair in my mid scalp from shock loss and it never came back. I have been wearing a hat for 4 years.
- I have hairs that are poorly angled going in all different directions and it is impossible to style.
- The procedure can only be described as a nightmare.
- I am desperately trying to find a doctor to fix this.
- I was billed for a botched surgery and advised to take more hair pills.
- By my first and second sessions my lymph nodes were really swollen from my hair tattoo.
- After my hair tattoo there was a very painful golf ball sized lump right behind my ear but now it’s smaller about a week later.
- I noticed 2 lumps in my neck from a hair tattoo I tried to massage it away. Several months later more lumps in the groin area. I’m not going to place any more pigment and hoping the lumps shrink.
- From my hair tattoo I got lumps behind each ear and one on the back of my neck and they were very painful.
- The procedure affected me and my family. My mom has never been so depressed due to my own depression. I feel responsible but I can’t help it. I’m alone and I don’t want to be here anymore.
- Everyone noticed and asked me what in the hell I did to myself.
- I no longer wanted to go to any functions with my wife so I would just stay home. I would meet people and tilt my head hoping to hide my appearance and that they wouldn’t notice my hair transplant.
- There is no way I am ever going to have another hair transplant. There is simply not enough donor hair
- I’m just so glad I didn’t have more surgery. I’m now in my 30’s I can accept hair loss and I am actually looking forward to a very normal look.
- I wish that I could just shave my head bald and not have visible scarring but it’s just not possible.
- Hair transplant surgery has ruined my life and affected me in so many ways
- This doctor told me he was running a price reduction but it was going to end the next day so I needed to sign up today. I should have known better.
- Nobody will want me now.
- The unnatural coarseness, thickness, darker color has been a great source of frustration.
- It’s so obvious that this is not my God given hairline.
- The skin texture is bumpy and red, the hairline screams hair transplant.
- I have made the worst decision of my life a hair transplant. Thousands of holes drilled into my head. The doctor told me no one will notice.
- I stopped working because there is no way I can do my job due to this hair transplant.
- I’m not looking forward to the appearance of my hair as it begins to slowly recede. My wife doesn’t say much but it doesn’t look good.
- My hair transplant is okay as long as I don’t go swimming and I stay out of the bright lights.
- My depression is hair transplant related. This will go down as my biggest mistake ever. God help me.
- I have lost quite a bit of weight and don’t leave the house.
- They told me it was a simple procedure.
- The density of my hair transplant is so low I need to continuously use hair fibers and concealers to look halfway normal.
- I’m looking into to getting this huge mess fixed.
- A small hair transplant touch up has absolutely destroyed my life.
- What I see in the mirror looks freaky and artificial this can’t be happening to me.
- I am having thoughts of suicide due to this I feel overwhelmed will someone please help me.
- I only feel dejection if I had only known beforehand.
- I would happily pay double even triple the money if I could undo this nightmare.